True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Let's get the cat blown out
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
