What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
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