forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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