So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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