The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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