So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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