she was so not down for the gang bang
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
