Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
