all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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