IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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