he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
is wine microwaveable?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
