is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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