woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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