he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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