This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
