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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
