weddingsv make me drug and hornr
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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