You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
