I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
