then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
