I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
