My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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