Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
