I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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