It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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