i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Two words: nipple clamps
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