I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
