dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
