I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
