What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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