i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i think i just lost a toe
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
