it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
