Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
