Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
