Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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