how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
