What did we do last night that was yellow?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
