This is not my ceiling
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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