so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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