everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
How naked do you want me to be?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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