so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
