Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
