I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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