And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Omg the world wants us to be better people
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."