I must be too annoying 4 u.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!