Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
