If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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