A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
