I got chris browned last night
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
