dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
This couple is walking their pig around campus
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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