I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
