do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize