I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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