I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
