if i can run in heels then i can drive
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
