you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
