i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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