why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize
