This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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