I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
